You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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