Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
