do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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