Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
