escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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