real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize