Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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