how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
