I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
