I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
