I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
