were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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