someone get that fucking seahorse.
too bad you live with your parents still
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
