Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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