just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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