I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
