it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
