I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
