he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
