Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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