I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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