Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
