And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
