My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
