you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
