Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize