she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
