I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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