ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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