Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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