Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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