So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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