my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize