Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
