so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
