have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
