just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
