my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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