Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
