What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
