And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate all girls vehemently.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
