I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
handjob tips. give me some.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
