it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize