I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
