My sheets look like a crime scene.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
