So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
