Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
