Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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