She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize