She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize