but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
