SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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