I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
