I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
