i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
