Porn is love you can see.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
