the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
