Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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